My Chemical Bromance

"Who are these people?" Franz Alter was trying to hide his confusion behind a seemingly indifferent facade. "The gentleman with the pince-nez and the nitrous oxide says he can quit his substances whenever he wants and that he very, very much wants to be my friend. The tall-ish lady in pants is apparently the queen of snark, and she claims that only her hen truly understands her. The antiques dealer smells of alcohol, book dust, and gun oil. The good-looking fellow is more skittish than a deer on a ice, while the remaining lady seems to have a kit bag full of interesting things and the calm gaze of a imminent violence. Oy gevalt!"

Alter

Lake

Bowers

Dr. MacNamara

Baker

Franz Alter had just administered a fine cocktail of drugs to Irwin Bowers, and Bowers insisted that Franz, fine upstanding Franz, join the other intrepid, but weary, investigators to the prestigious Explorer Club in the Majestic Hotel on Central Park West and 76th Street. The curator, Anscomb Blakely, was supposedly anticipating some form of short supper lecture. Well, why not? Alter did not mind finding out new things about his city, and Upper West Side was definitely out of Alter's typical neighborhoods.

The afternoon slowly turning into an early evening, and Irwin Bowers hadn't even changed. He was so busy chatting to the politely nodding Franz Alter that he barely noticed when his friends made him change into his tuxedo. After having slipped a carnation into the button hole, the investigators were off to the Explorer Club in two cabs.

The curator, Mr. Anscomb Blakely, greeted the investigators warmly. He was on the shorter side, with a surprisingly light voice and impeccable manners. He introduced the investigators to the other members present this evening: Reginald Burroughs, Arthur Bentley III, Walther Prendergast, and Johanna Scarborough. These ladies and gentlemen were eagerly anticipating to hear about the expeditions and adventures, especially in Egypt. However, the elderly Prendergast did fall asleep and wake up abruptly with a “remember the Maine!” when Doctor MacNamara added emphasis to end a sentence.

Following the lecture and a truly amazing buffet, Anscomb Blakely approached the investigators together with Arthur Bentley III. Bentley seemed to be a kind old man, looking more like a Civil War general than anything else, with enormous white sideburns and a warm smile. Both Blakely and Bentley mentioned that they'd heard of the “resourcefulness” of the investigators, and their “unconventional methods”. They presented what seemed to be a simple case, though, concerning an examination of a particular drinking vessel of Mexican origin, and mentioning anything out of the ordinary. The vessel was located at Alexander's Antiques and Curiosities on Madison Avenue and East 59th Street, and yes, there had been a falling out between Blakely and the owner, Alexander Mylonas, some time ago. Being a native New Yorker, Franz Alter did know one or two things about its population, but in this case he only knew one thing: Mylonas was Germophobe.

It was the morning of Thursday, April 30, and all the investigators had received generous gift baskets with two bottles of champagne, some fine cigars, caviar, blinis, truffles, various nuts and other delicious little things. Following breakfast, the intrepid investigators left the hotel, and Irwin Bowers once again insisted that his new best friend Franz Alter should come along.

Alexander Mylonas's store was found in a drab and unassuming brownstone, just a couple of steps down from street level. The store was crammed, but not in a disorderly fashion, as in full, but not cluttered. A young graduate assistant was behind a counter and the investigators. He politely asked if he could be of some assistance as the investigators perused the store. Many of the objects were of extraordinarily high quality, and all of them were quite rare, so this was not a store for customers on a budget. The objects were typically from China and Egypt, with a significant number of pre-Colombian objects. There was also furniture, some books, and various trinkets. After a couple of minutes, Mackenzie MacNamara asked about the drinking vessel, and the assistant asked for Mr. Mylonas. As Mr. Mylonas entered the store through a back door, Howard Lake spotted something horrifying. He was staring straight into the deadpan eyes of the creature that had tried to kill him repeatedly while causing so much destruction in Arkham. Lake excused himself and made for the exit. He was soon followed by Irwin Bowers and Franz Alter, who were sensing that something was wrong.

"What the flying fuck is going on? Why did Lake run off after whispering something about imminent danger?" Bowers took a good whiff from his nitrous oxide before proceeding. "Not to worry. I'll take care of this together with my buddy Franz. Right, Franz?" Franz nodded slowly. He motioned towards a mailbox, where Alter and Bowers found Lake hunkering down and trying to form his remaining plastic explosives into a charge. Lake stood up all of a sudden, and walked with resolute steps towards Alexander's antiques. "Our friends are in danger. We must help them. It, it is here, here in New York!"   

"Mr. Lake, I can assure you that there is nothing here out of the ordinary." Franz Alter placed a reassuring hand on Lake's shoulder, a hand that was brushed off right away.

"Irwin, Mr. Alter, if you're not going to help me, then get the fuck out of my way!" Lake's voice almost cracked as he yelled at Alter and Bowers. He was now holding his Luger in his right hand and the plastics explosives in his left.

"Howard, everything is ok. I am not going to let you run into a store with a bomb and a loaded gun."

Lake did not hesitate. He fired off a 9 mm round straight through Bowers left thigh, and Bowers fell to the ground with an expression of utter bafflement. Alter dragged the wounded and increasingly pale Bowers out of harm's way, leaving a track of blood behind him.

Meanwhile, Moira Baker, Jules Pollack and Mackie MacNamara were intently observing a drinking vessel. Jules Pollack had been really persuasive and made several very good points about art, so the usually rather arrogant Mylonas did, in fact, take out the drinking vessel from a locked cabinet. The investigators were finally examining the vessel, albeit from a distance. "Is it a crow's head?" Jules asked. "No, as a matter if fact, I believe it is the head of a raven. The recent origins are unclear," Mylonas explained, "but it was somehow 'acquired' in 1872 by a nameless missionary in Mexico." The vessel was firmly placed in Mylonas's gloved hands as Moira pointed out that there seemed to be signs or small drawings around the lower rim of the raven-headed vessel. Mackie produced a magnifying glass, and after a brief glance she looked up and nodded: "Those are hieroglyphs. I cannot tell if they are original writing or if they were added at some point in time. The hieroglyphs are a bit difficult to read, but I believe that they say 'Sacrifice to Horus when night lights are corrected'." Jules exhaled, sighed, and said: "So, like when the stars are right?" Mackie replaced the magnifying glass and looked out the store window, perhaps anticipating some strange portent. "Precisely." At that point, they all heard a single gun shot. Lake rushed into the store, and Moira Baker suggested it was time to go, as the sound of sirens wailed in the distance. Lake was clearly distraught, and going on about the creature that destroyed Jules Pollack Fine Antiques, and as they all scrambled out of the store, Jules could not help noticing the suit of armor that Lake must have mistaken for that creature of destruction.

They all made it back to the Hotel Ambassador, although using different routes. Moira Baker stitched up Bower's wound, and even despite Alter's special drug cocktail, Bowers was in pain. The investigators were settling in for a more leisurely Friday afternoon, but various visitors changed their plans. The overly stressed Lake was met by a sultry form who had left the door to his room ajar. It was Lola, just Lola, and she had no qualms hiding her interests in Lakes masculinity. And it became even more intricate: Lola told about a film venture of utmost depravity being shot by Richard Strauss and starring an additional female friend or two. It took Lake no more than a second to holster his Luger and join Lola to the car that was awaiting them.

Poor Howard!

In Mackie MacNamara's case, the visitor was Victor Aymes. He looked both stunning and mesmerizing, and he very politely explained that he would like to take Dr. MacNamara out for lunch as a token of appreciation for her forceful dispersion of those thugs the other day. Mackie was quite a bit curious about this well-mannered and sophisticated guest, and she did not mind lunch at all. Victor Aymes explained in his husky voice that he'd taken the liberty to make reservations at a nearby restaurant called Victor's, if she didn't mind. Mackie did not mind at all. Following a fantastic, entertaining and intimate lunch, Victor confessed that he was very much awestruck and enthralled by Mackie's resolute actions. Would Mackie have any plans for the afternoon? Mackie cancelled all engagements, and spent a fantastic and climactic afternoon together with Victor, who had quite a few surprises to reveal.

Moira Baker could finally remove her shoes and just relax. "Is it just me, or are my friends getting weirder and weirder? Did Howard actually just shoot Irwin? Is it time to consider a real job?" Her train of thought was interrupted by the doorbell and the voice of Kelly Ventura, the stylist of Nefertiti Studios. "Ms. Baker, it is time to go shopping!" Kelly Ventura ended the last syllable on a drawn out note. Moira hesitated, but she remembered her days with high society in Boston and Arkham, and she realized that she did need some new garments. What followed was a whirlwind tour of Manhattan. First some serious shopping of several fabulous outfits, followed by a visit to a beauty salon and spa, a late luncheon at the Waldorf Astoria, and then a tea dance at the Clam House in Harlem for ladies only  and starring Gertrude “Ma” Rainey, known as “The Mother of Blues.” She performed her hit Prove It on Me: “It’s true I wear a collar and a tie, … Talk to the gals just like any old man...”

"Ma" Rainey

Kelly Ventura was charming company. She was very interested in talking to Moira Baker, and Moira found it great to socialize with someone who wasn't just perusing old tomes and cultivating bats in the belfry. The champagne was flowing, and there might have been a little bit of flirtation going on from Kelly Ventura, but that might also have been Moira's imagination. Anyway, a great afternoon turned into a great evening as Moira and Kelly found themselves in a limousine from the Clam House.

Jules Pollack was also to have a visitor, but not from Nefertiti Studios. This was Diana Spinoza, who was knocking most incessantly on his door just after lunch. She stormed into Jules's room carrying a valise and a pet cage. She was clearly agitated, and almost maniacal as she put down her back at let loose a small cat, perfectly ordinary looking, but sporting the typical feline disinterest in everything and everyone. The cat, Benny, took a lap around the sitting area before jumping up on a sofa and promptly falling asleep. This was not the case of Diana Spinoza:

"Julie, I have learned SO MUCH! There is also so much more to be learned right here in New York City. At the Public Library! And you, you, Julie, you left me all bored with nothing to do in dull old Arkham. I like to be with you, Julie, not sitting and sighing by your photograph!"

Diana's behavior was disconcerting. Jules felt that he needed something to calm down Diana with, so he went over to Irwin Bower's suite.

For Irwin Bowers, there was no dancing or romance to be had. He was sitting with his new friend Franz Alter, the pain slowly receding, and he was looking at the pretty colors being reflected off the chandelier while reaching for the nitrous oxide. Alter was taking notes when Jules Pollack dashed into the room. What was going on? Jules explained the state of Diana Spinoza, and Franz Alter nodded gravely. This required opium. The substance was ordered from his pharmacy down by Union Square, and it was ready as Diana Spinoza barged into Bower's room, intent on finding Pollack, and ignoring Alter and Bowers until an opium- laced glass of champagne was given to her. Diana downed the glass, but there was no reaction whatsoever.

"Most curious." Franz Alter muttered to himself. "I'll try it on Bowers." The concoction clearly worked.

Diana Spinoza dragged Jules back to his room, pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. Pinning his arms to his sides, Diana looked at him intently: "Now, what about The Book of Eibon?"

Confusing the erotic with the esoteric again, dear?

Franz Alter was was sitting with a quiet and smiling Irwin Bowers. He'd be feeling much better by now, and Alter was considering reviving him a bit. But where was everyone? What was going on?