Wednesday, December 14, 2022

Dive Bars of Manhattan

From the diary of Felix Jeremiah:

Dear Dr. Armitage,

I am happy to inform you that the next meeting of the Arbiter's Society will take place on February 1, 1926. The meeting will be held at Happy Harry's Bar, conveniently located behind Mushnik's Flower Shop on the corner of 15th Street and 9th Avenue. RSVP before January 25 to Jolly Roger.

So, this was the message that Dr. Henry Armitage had to show us. What kind of crap was that? And after a relaxing Christmas and New Year's? What about my political career? Anyway, we were treated to a real dinner the week before. Actual food, none of that tea shit. And cheese with tawny whatever. He had apparently been at two of the meetings of the "Arbiter's Society". So what was the arbitration? I guessed we'd find out in New York. He did insist on telling us the following:

The meeting is at Happy Harry's Bar, located on 45th and 9th, at 9PM. The Arbiter's Society is a very special society, and it caters to many individuals in North America with "special" interests. The Arbiter's Society was founded in New York in 1713 to engage in various odd issues. The society meets every year, at least once, but occasionally when need arises. This is an ordinary annual meeting, though. Then Armitage stressed:

- The society is very tightly knit. Bad things happen to those who talk about the society.

- The society meets in places that may be, well, odd. Armitage has seen some things that he cannot explain at the meetings of the Arbiter's Society.

- The meetings are held on neutral ground. Violence or threats will be treated in a most unpleasant fashion.

Of course, there was also the issue with Hell's Kitchen. A really unsavory fucking place. Even I tend to avoid that impossible part of Manhattan. But what the fuck, strength in numbers and all of that:

Initially there were pockets of German, Italian, and Jewish immigrants, but the Irish took ownership of the neighborhood, for lack of a better term. Work often consisted of building railroad lines, slaving in tanneries, and working the docks on the West Side; not exactly jobs for the faint of heart. After a gruesome set of murders and riots in 1881, the Hell’s Kitchen name stuck.

Various criminal gangs made names for themselves, such as the Hell’s Kitchen Gang, the Parlor Mob, and the Gopher Gang. They shook down businesses for protection money and ran gambling operations, among many other vices. This led to many people spending their last moments face down in the Hudson River if they dared challenge one of the gangs.

The shipping docks were prime real estate for organized crime. The classic movie “On the Waterfront” starring Marlon Brando depicted what life was like working on the docks under the influence of organized crime figures. Gangs competed for control of two things at the docks. Firstly, gangs wanted control of the goods illegally offloaded from cargo ships. Secondly, they wanted control of the labor unions. That fight escalated in the first half of the 20th century.

With Prohibition underway, violence over control of the docks and railroad only intensified. How lucrative was control over all of those elements? Well, Mobster Owney Madden was so successful at bootlegging, extortion, and even murder during Prohibition, that he invested in an uptown Harlem nightclub; it became the infamous Cotton Club.

From the diary of Mackenzie MacNamara:

Oh, what a joy to stay at the Waldorf for a bit! I am going to ask the staff for everything, from finding my slippers to opening my bubbles. Far too much time spent in the countryside. And there we were, just like that. I get to sit my suite and order room service. And then there was Armitage's meeting. Oh yes, the Arbiter's Society. Onwards!

Some initial asking around indicated that the location was weird. Nobody had heard of Happy Harry's although Mushnik's Flowers was a sub-par florist. This did seem to be a little odd, but we had, frankly, handled worse. We did make it to Mushnik's Flowers without any altercations, and we were led into a small passage behind a sliding door by some odd bouncer. The narrow passage seemed to convey a whiff of queasiness, something we all experienced, but then we entered a sizeable bar space. 

Happy Harry's Bar was pretty packed. It reeked of smoke, spilled beer, and some strange and much more exotic odors. The attendants were many and varied. There were two bartenders working the bar, but not too many people ordering. There was a din of steady conversation, and a few familiar faces: 

The Collector. Who is he, really, besides ridiculously tall?

Professor Timothy Harper, the herpetologist. I didn't know him, but he made a point of introducing himself.

Emily, Anna and Dorothy Gnospelius. They see the past, the present, and the future, especially through art

Dorothy Gale is no longer working with Nefertiti studios, and she is now running a small PI office on the Upper East Side. Still endless hours of fun, and the best guide to the city.

Victor Aymes, seemingly still obsessed with Mackie.


Sun Ra attends the meetings for the sake of art.

Lao Wan is a Taoist priest that the Intrepid Investigators met in Chinatown battling Jiangshi.

Slimy Mike Polvo. Jules knows this guy from way back when. Polvo is a small-time crook who happens to be left-leaning. He looks like shit, sweaty, stressed, and with blemishes,

This guy is apparently named Carnegie Bob. He is supposed to be a "Time Traveller".

Zara Conforto is stunning but rumored to be lethal.

This guy was called Korbel. Rumors claimed that he's an expert on "magical things". He assisted Henry the Speaker during the proceedings.

Happy Harry himself. He ran the bar together with Meg and Heather, two jaded bartenders, as well as two enormous but unnamed bouncers. He may not be of this dimension, but that may also apply to the bar itself.


Jacqueline DuPlessis. She had no clue how she ended up here, but she asked around for Howard Lake.



Henry the Speaker is said to be a sprightly 152-year old. He has been chairing the Arbiter's Society since 1842. He has one interest: to keep up good order at meetings and to do arbitration. 

Some observations from a member of the public:

What an interesting meeting! Well, the meetings are always interesting, but look at the guests! The person who calles itself Victor Aymes is hitting on... Dr. Mackenzie MacNamara, the famous Egyptologist? Why would a Justified and Ancient High Priest of Mu hit on an Egyptologist, unlesss...wait, forget about it. And there's The Collector having a conversation with Franz Alter, the infamous drug dealer. He's made more people feel like stars than the silver screen itself. So they know Aymes? Interesting.

And yes, it seems as if many of the attendees are talking about a "Joker", some crazed criminal that has been doing some spectacular bank heists. Smiling like aclown, and using soem strange gimmicks to subdue guards and, actually, anyone who crosses his path. Not from New York he aint! It seems as if perky miss Dorothy Gale is interested in the case. She's talking to some folks from out of town, including MacNamara and Alter, as well as Felix Jeremiah, that little snitch. I'll have to tell Master that he's in town.

And what about that lowlife, Slimy Mike Polvo. What a fucking cretin, skulking around, looking really sick, and approaching Jules Pollock, the dealer of weird antiques that brought back so many interesting things from the Carib bean. My master would be really interested to talk to him about that. So, they sit down in a booth, order drinks, and it seems as if Polvo hands Pollack something. I wonder what it might be?

It's nine pee-em, and the arbitration is about to begin. The main issue at this meeting is the inheritance of one Prudence V. van Wyck. Prudence  was "New York's grandmother", but if only the tabloids knew a even the slightest about her more, well, Hunnish practices, they would have used a different tone. She had a fairly extensive library that is claimed by, on the one hand, her son, Walther van Wyck, and, on the other hand, her daughter, Veronica van Wyck. They are represented by their respective attorneys. Walther van Wyck is a spoiled brat, and frankly, more than a little daft. But he's a greedy bastard, a real child of thew gilded age. Veronica, on the other hand, is sharp as a tack, and really drop-dead gorgeous, Master says he's fucked her, but it almost cost him both his dick and his life, or at least life expectancy. Master is full of shit, though.

Look, they're all voting. I am voting for Master. And what did The Collector tell Alter? That they didn't have a knee? What does that even mean? Did I not hear correctly? Ok, so Henry the Speaker is counting the votes for arbitration. Look at Gnospelius sisters! One is twerlig her hair, one is chewing her fingernails, while one is pulling her ear lobe. They are really into this. Aaaaand, it is decided. Veronica gets the stuff. But wait, Walther's attorney pulls out a gun and protests the arbitration. Oh no, that won't do. What a stupid piece of shit! And he is of course promptly thrown out the front door by the bouncers. Well, won't see him for another ten thousand years or so. Time to go. Oh, Slimy Mike follows Jules and friends. Interesting.