ARKHAM ADVERTISER
September 1, 1924
MINERAL FINDS IN NEW MEXICO BAFFLE BOFFINS
The Epic Adventures of Alter, Baker, Bonhofer, Jeremiah, Lake, MacNamara, and Pollack, Paranormal Investigators. Also including the strange events in New Mexico featuring Ashford, Cannon and McCloud, as well as the cases of Cannon, Doctorow & Lockwood, Private Investigators, and now including Antiques by Coleridge.
ARKHAM ADVERTISER
September 1, 1924
MINERAL FINDS IN NEW MEXICO BAFFLE BOFFINS
The three amigos eventually decided to leave the abandoned Seventh Adventist's church they'd spent Christmas Day in, and they proceeded to follow tracks from the gruesome monstrosity that stalked the ghost town of White Oaks. Ashford, Cannon and McCloud were all feeling the ill effects of a disturbed night's sleep, and the stark sunlight seemed unnaturally bright. They stabled McCloud's horse, grabbed necessary equipment, and then walked cautiously towards the Broken Toe Mine. The investigators were not the only early birds in the mountains, though: a dozen brutish-looking cattle hands were surveying a mass of destroyed mining equipment. Not a single item seemed to have avoided denting, crushing or shredding. The leader of the roughnecks stepped forward, and after a brief "howdy", he asked the three investigators what they might be up to on a fine Friday morning. The conversation was far from warm and including, but it was clear that the hoodlums were looking for whoever might have killed their companions and destroyed much precious equipment. "Whoever" soon turned out to be the Antahueca Apache, although the thugs used more derogatory language. Frank Cannon flashed his P.I. badge, and insisted that the trio were stalking a dangerous killer that had fled into the mine. Boss Martin and his gang - for this was indeed Boss Martin - paid scant attention to the investigators, as they had their eyes set on a different prize. They rode off to meet up with Sheriff Donahue while Ashford, Cannon and McCloud entered the mine with the latter taking point.
Boss Martin had warned them from straying off the main passage, as the mine was old and there were deep shafts that were difficult to spot for the unwary. The mine was indeed forbidding, and there were still remnants of the old mining operations: boxes, crates, graffiti, and the odd broken implement. Lotus Ashford did notice something out of the ordinary, though: an empty box for a Geiger counter from MIT, including a partially destroyed user's manual. Another more disturbing discovery was a pile some three or four feet across with what seemed to be decayed human remains that somehow seemed to have been molted off something else, perhaps something bigger. More pieces of rotting flesh were found as the trio proceeded, one of them still sporting a tattooed blueish heart pierced by an arrow.
A partially collapsed floor forced the three amigos to attach themselves with ropes and carefully sidestep the lightless pit. However, disaster almost struck as Lotus Ashford lost his footing and started slipping into the abyss, leaving Frank Cannon mere inches from taking the plunge together with Lotus. McCloud acted quickly, as he used the old sleepers to brace himself, and after much cursing and flailing about, they managed to get out of a truly frightful situation, but only after causing the remaining floor around the pit to collapse in a cloud of fetid dust. Unperturbed, the trio proceeded forward, hoping to find a way back through some other passage. As they reached the end of the main passage, it branched out to two narrower passageways, the right at an acute angle downwards, and the left one straight and level. Ashford turned around, and he shuddered as the light from the entrance of the mine was blotted out for a fraction of a second. Was there someone between the investigators and the mine entrance or was his mind playing him tricks?
As McCloud proceeded down the left passageway, it split up again. McCloud first shone his lantern to the right, but it was when he turned to his left that he saw a new form of abomination. Almost surreal in its execution, this seemed to be a new amalgamation of body parts attached to each other in a most unholy fashion. The beast was wheezing like a deranged steam engine, and the enormous stitched together mouth tried to form word as slobber-like fluids dropped down the corner of the orifice: "muuuust, musst, destrooooooy...". Both McCloud and Cannon shrieked in panic, and dashed for the exit from the mine. Lotus Ashford was equally terrified, but he fired off several rounds from his revolver at the monstrosity. The rounds seemed to have effect, as ichor ran out of the horrendous wounds, but the creature proceeded to chase the investigators. With an abomination before them and a bottomless pit in front of them, the situation was dire indeed. Cannon and McCloud had cut off their ropes, and Frank Cannon was sprinting towards the exit while attempting to jump across the six- or seven-foot gap in the passage. He jumped with all of his strength, but to no avail, as his arms flailed to grab anything to hinder him from falling into the abyss. Fortunately, McCloud jumped after Cannon and after being helped up on his feet, Frank Cannon pulled out a dynamite stick from his rucksack. Meanwhile, Lotus Ashford emptied his revolver at the monstrosity, but it seemed as if the unnamable thing was preparing to jump after the investigators, stretching its rubber-like body in a gelatinous fashion. Frank Cannon fought his urge to just run out of the mine, and his trembling hands lite the fuse and threw the dynamite stick. It exploded just as the beast jumped, showering the three amigos with all kinds of body fragments and goo.
It is said that he (for we think Skin-Bob may have been manfolk, but we're not entirely sure) has been sighted around dawn or dusk, standing at the side of the road and waitin' for a ride. Skin-Bob is typically wearin' a horseman's overcoat, a scarf and a hat, and he has a voice smooth as honey. He'll really want that ride, since he wants to know you real well. Real well...
Now, Skin-Bob wants somethin' besides the ride. He'll sweet-talk you for quite some time, never removin' his garments, and you'll just see his eyes and hear that voice. Skin-Bob's eyes seem to dee-fi descriptin, an those who survived meetin' Skin-Bob always remember them eyes, but not what they really look like. After listenin' to him for a while - some folk it's hours, some say even days - he'll reveal what he really wants, and you will barely notice as that short an' razor-sharp knife of his enters your body. Some folk says it's a claw, other that he's bitin' you, but I say it's a knife, a skinner's knife. You see, Skin-Bob wants just that your skin. That's the one item he's lackin' - skin. When he jumps out of that coat, he's flayed as a deer after huntin' season, and he needs new skin, since even if he has some form of life, his skin rots, and peels, and falls off in shreds and tatters. He will seek you out for a new skin-suit, and you'll eventually be left a skinless bloody thing at the side of the road, perhaps even livin' in real pain for some time until the hurtin' really does you in.
- Eliza Hawkins, Brattleboro, Massachusetts. Recorded in 1915. Recording kept at The Brooklyn Museum, New York.
Robert Skinner was queer man, living by himself and minding his own business in a stately residence outside Worcester around the time of the Revolutionary War. He was a learned man, but some say that he also delved far into the arcane and the unwholesome, although he was more known for providing his community with many of the necessities others couldn't afford. Despite these endearing qualities, persistent rumors spoke of other things, especially strange visitors during Maundy Thursday and Walpurgis, visitors that seemed to leave unnatural footprints in the planters outside Skinner's mansion.
Robert Skinner was also a patriot, and he enlisted in the Massachusetts Militia under Colonel Wilkes as the war started. Skinner was given a captaincy in the regiment, and he attacked both Tories and the British with much ferocity during several of the early battle of the war. As rumors started spreading about his conduct, many of the New England Tories wanted to see him dead, and they eventually caught up with him outside Westfield. He was forcefully dragged out of the private library were he was temporarily residing. The Tories mocked him for his name, and decided to demonstrate their skills with the knife. Thus, Skinner was indeed flayed alive, and before succumbing to the gruesome treatment, he cursed the Tories and swore to make sure that none of the laughing miscreants were to see their next birthday. That was to be the case, and the offending Tories were said to be found in sad states of dismemberment during the week before their respective birthdays. This eventually grew into the legend of "Skin-Bob", who would hunt Tories, British and Hessians for their skin.
- E. F. Robinson. Macabre and Patriotic Tales of the Revolutionary War. Providence: Charterhouse Publishing, 1878.
...there are also indications that the legend of Skin-Bob may have its origins in Indian myth and legend that may have become part of the early colonial storytelling, perhaps as early as the mid-seventeenth century. Legends similar to the tale of Skin-Bob can be found in the lore of several Indian tribes, all the way from New England to the west and possibly as far as certain Apache and Navajo tribes in the southwestern territories of the United States, where the tales of the Skinwalker (yee naaldlooshii or yig naaldloshii) can be found. There are also similarities to the folklore surrounding the Flayed Lord in Aztec culture.
- Thomas D. Marcus. Indian Mythology. Arkham: Miskatonic University Publishing, 1911.